i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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