I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
