Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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