I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Dear god my vagina.
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