thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
