Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
