shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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