I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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