He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
