marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
So much rum. So many feels.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
