Jerry, you need to find god
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
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i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
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I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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