Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
i out mim tonsoeep
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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