Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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