3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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