Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
