Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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