all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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