I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
