You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
