i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
