Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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