I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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