living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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