I'm really into asian looking animals
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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