I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
