If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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