If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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