He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
