so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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