My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
