just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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