doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
