i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
