i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
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the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
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Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.