She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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