the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
