i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
