never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
