if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
