if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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