all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
FUCK WHALES
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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