So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
