I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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