Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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