I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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