i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
