Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
