So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
