can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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