So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Never joke about your clitoris.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
