i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
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