You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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