There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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