I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
