Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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