He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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