We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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