he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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