oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
